Lifeless (Dark Side Thursday)

Right under the Bridge.

They’d been talking for almost thirty minutes. Coming from opposite sides of the city, they often chatted at this time of the evening, driving to their respective homes. It passed the hour in the car and it gave them a chance to talk about the things that they didn’t get a chance to talk about when they were with the others. They were very close, virtually siblings, and could talk to each other about anything – they even had the same taste in men.

“Anyway,” she said, in her matter-of-fact way, “you need to take care of YOU first. It’s almost 7pm and you’re just leaving work now? That’s not good hun – you’re no good to me as a burnt out mess!” He smiled to himself. She really understood him and she was right. “Yep, I think I have to make a change…”.

He was about to tell her about his plans to suggest some changes at work when he heard a loud bang and the screaming of metal tearing. He heard her cry out and then….nothing. Oh God, he thought, what the hell was that? He shouted her name but it was no good, the phone was dead. He tried again and again but couldn’t reach her.

He knew she was in the tunnel because she’d just warned him that she might lose reception even though she never did. For a few moments, he tapped the steering wheel … impatiently … nervously … trying to decide what to do but it didn’t feel right to just go home. He quickly changed lanes and pulled in behind the slowest line of traffic that was crawling its exit to the city.

It was only twenty minutes but it felt like a lifetime to make it to the tunnel. The radio had kicked in when the phone disconnected and while he couldn’t stand to listen, he kept it on in case of a traffic update.

Where the hell was he going to park? Sometimes he really hated this city. So many roads, so much traffic, so many people, so many cars. He parked his car illegally as close as he could get to the tunnel and sprinted in, people behind him shouting, leaning on their horns. The traffic was banked up and when he saw the emergency crews appear and start putting up road block signs, his heart sank as he realised that there was definitely an accident in the tunnel. A serious one. Tears pricked at his eyes as he ran and slipped past unnoticed as they were working on the safety lights. He felt instinctively that something was really wrong. 

He kept running.

Halfway in, he heard his phone ringing and he slowed as he fumbled for it. When he saw the image of him kissing her cheek appear on the screen, his heart leapt! “Thank God”, he gasped as he answered the phone, tipping his head back and breathing a huge sigh.

“I’m sorry, but is that Mr Mathieson?” It was a man’s voice on the phone. Sirens were screaming behind him, ahead of him and in his ear as his knees crumbled out from under him and he knew.

He knew. The worst.

He straightened up and kept running towards her. “Yes, what’s happened? Is she ok? What’s happening?” He rounded the corner and saw her bright red car and could suddenly no longer hear the voice in his ear. He dropped his phone and stumbled again, but kept moving forward. He could see her. They’d pulled her from the car and placed her body (her body!) on the ground but he could see from the angles of her form… As he moved closer, he saw her eyes and his own eyes widened in panic. She seemed to be looking straight through him. With lifeless eyes.

Lifeless.

He fell to the ground beside her, gathering her to his chest, crying out as the paramedics moved in around him, shouting at him, reaching for him.

She had been so full of life. And now here she was.

Crumpled.

Broken.

Lifeless.


Ok, so this one brought a tear to my eye. My friend and I had one of these chats tonight as I drove to the airport and he drove to his mum’s for dinner.

It was interesting to write this from someone else’s perspective. This is for Andy’s DarkSideThursday. My first post for this event was a first-person account of her own death. I didn’t want to do first-person again, but I did want to write this with the idea that I was the person in the accident but from another perspective.

In case you were wondering, yes I am writing this on an airplane. Surprise! The things that you do when you are so tired that you can’t actually sleep. I used to be able to sleep the moment I buckled up my seatbelt, but these days the mind seems to be racing too much. I need an outlet so thank goodness for my iPhone and the Notes App. I’m probably not flying for these next two weeks so let’s see if I’m capable of writing anything without listening to the drone of the airplane!!

Note – I wrote this last Thursday in transit.

x desleyjane


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Comments

34 responses to “Lifeless (Dark Side Thursday)”

  1. Amy Sampson Avatar

    This is one of my favourite stories from you so far. I could feel his fear.

    I once heard that there’s something about high altitude ions (negative, I think) that boost creativity. Apparently, airplanes are a good place to write. It seems to be the case for you. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. desleyjane Avatar

      Oh thank you Amy! I wasn’t sure about posting this one for some reason. Maybe it hits a little close to home. I remember being almost in a trance writing it. My fingers were flying (no pun intended lol). Hmmmnn high altitude creativity – I might just look into that!! Thanks again!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. adeleinglasses Avatar

    Oh my goodness, I was unprepared for just how emotional that would be. Seriously, great, great writing!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. desleyjane Avatar

      Thanks Adele. I may have stretched the definition of dark somewhat but I wanted to do something emotional. Thanks so much.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. adeleinglasses Avatar

        It was brilliant, under any definition, I was gripped!

        Liked by 1 person

        1. desleyjane Avatar

          Thank you. So much 🙂

          Liked by 1 person

  3. Mara Eastern Avatar

    I can’t even begin to say how powerfully this story affected me. Your writing is excellent and I think you’ll be soon publishing a hit short story collection 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. desleyjane Avatar

      Wow thanks Mara. I was going for emotional and like I said I cried when I wrote it but wasn’t sure if it was because I was relating it to myself so much. Thank you again Mara, it’s very much appreciated. X

      Liked by 1 person

  4. andy townend Avatar

    Dear God, when I decided to start dark side thursday I had no idea it would go here, this post is powerful, poignant and deeply affecting, where will you go next DJ??

    Liked by 1 person

    1. desleyjane Avatar

      Thank you Andy, now it’s me who is humbled by your words. That means a lot to me.
      Next – I think a lighter shade of dark next maybe? I don’t know actually. Without being on a plane, my brain is not so creative!!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. andy townend Avatar

        I know the frequent flyer feeling…and no, it is me who should feel humbled not you
        *bows*

        Liked by 1 person

        1. desleyjane Avatar

          This could go on… Love it. Thanks Andy.

          Liked by 1 person

  5. LifestyleswithLia Avatar
    LifestyleswithLia

    Desleyjane! Chills literally ran through my body as I read this…. You’re a great writer who captivates the reader! And the fact that you wrote this on a plane is even more awesome….

    Liked by 1 person

    1. desleyjane Avatar

      Thank you Lia, what a brilliant comment. I really do thank you. I am feeling the love today 😀

      Liked by 1 person

      1. LifestyleswithLia Avatar
        LifestyleswithLia

        I’m so glad the love is coming straight your way! Happy Friday!

        Liked by 1 person

        1. desleyjane Avatar

          Happy Friday to you too hun. Best wishes for another ice cream day 😀

          Liked by 1 person

          1. LifestyleswithLia Avatar
            LifestyleswithLia

            Thank you! It just might be 🙂

            Liked by 1 person

  6. loisajay Avatar

    Oh my God! How suspenseful can you get?! This was wonderful….whew. Ugh. Had to go back and read the last few lines again. Gosh. So darn good.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. desleyjane Avatar

      Oh Loisa thank you so much. That’s a great comment, I appreciate it so much.

      Like

  7. inidna Avatar

    Holy wow, definitely not something to read first thing at work (while I procrastinate a little bit) because I got seriously teary eyed! Such suspense waiting for what you know is going to happen and not wanting it to be true. I could feel his anguish/despair. Wonderful writing lady!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. desleyjane Avatar

      Thank you! Oops tears at work! I’m sorry for that but secretly pleased. I wanted to do something emotional so I’m really glad that it worked out!!! Thanks again. So much. X

      Like

  8. Terri Webster Schrandt Avatar

    Let me join in the sea of wonderful and well-deserved comments by saying, simply, “Wow!” Tragic story but excellently well-written with tension built in so quickly! Keep it up DesleyJ!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. desleyjane Avatar

      Thank you Terri for your very kind words. I’m so humbled by the feedback from everyone on this one. I really appreciate it.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. ChloéMarriault Avatar
    ChloéMarriault

    Amazing post!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Anger (Dark Side Thursday) | musings of a frequent flying scientist Avatar

    […] If you missed my dark story last week, you can find it here – Lifeless. […]

    Like

  11. LDG luciledegodoy Avatar

    I am reading it a week later and after your today’s post. I am short for words, particularly after reading all wonderful and well deserved comments you got above.
    You are exceedingly exceptional and excellent (can you speak like that in English?, oh yes). You are a superior, brilliant writer. And I don’t care if you don’t agree. You are THE WRITER! Period.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. desleyjane Avatar

      Well. What do I say to that? Thank you so much for reading me and for such wonderful words. Your opinion always means so much to me. This post in particular was easy to write but hard to go back and read later, it gets to me. Thanks again – exceedingly exceptional and excellent – oh yes you can certainly speak like that LOL. Thank you Lucile dearest x.

      Like

      1. LDG luciledegodoy Avatar

        What do you say? I will write a book!
        You’re exceedingly welcome my lovely ! Lol

        Liked by 1 person

  12. loricarlson66 Avatar
    loricarlson66

    great suspense and build-up, when his phone rang I had that second of hope as he did.. oh such a sad disheartening story! but well-written!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. desleyjane Avatar

      Oh yes this one made me cry when I wrote it but I really liked it too.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. loricarlson66 Avatar
        loricarlson66

        I think those stories that make us cry are always the best ones we’ve written…

        Liked by 1 person

        1. desleyjane Avatar

          I heartily agree x.

          Liked by 1 person

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