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You say I’m crazy, ’cause you don’t think I know what you’ve done, but when I call you baby, I know I’m not the only one.

I’ve been waiting for you. For hours. I don’t know why I do it. You make me feel worthless. Except for those brief hours that we spend together, those glorious hours which pass by so quickly. It’s in those moments that I wish that time could stand still and that we would stay together forever.

But here I am, still waiting. I can’t be this person anymore, this desperation when you’re not with me. This isn’t me. I’m not like this. You bring out this sullen behaviour in me. When you finally do arrive tonight, I will be moody and irritated because I’ve been waiting here. For you. I’m an idiot for sitting here, as if I have no other life than the time that I spend with you and then the time that I spend waiting for you.

Something is wrong here. I am not that person. I am not worthless. You cannot do this to me.

It’s going to be tonight. I’m going to tell you. I want to be the only one. But I can’t be the only one for you, I know that.

So tonight I say goodbye.

 


 

These are the lyrics playing in my headphones as I’m flying across this beautiful country Australia. It’s a full flight but it’s evening and everyone is pretty quiet, watching TV, headphones on, staring ahead or drifting off to sleep.

Credit goes to the wonderful Mr Sam Smith for his beautiful song “I’m Not The Only One”, providing the lyrics at the to of his post. This is my favourite song right now. I’m not in the situation described in the song, but I’ve been there as I’m sure many of us have. I feel ya Sam. I wanted to write something to convey the dark feeling that you inevitably have in this situation. For a time, you feel like it will change or improve and you hope that it does. But you’re helpless because you can’t control how the other person feels or what he does. He makes you feel worthless because he doesn’t ever put you first. But actually, you know what, he’s the one who is worthless. He actually brings nothing to your life. Except heartache and misery. Remember that sick feeling you get in your stomach when you realize what’s going on? We don’t need that. We are so much better than that.

 


 

 

Today’s Writing101 Prompt :  Write a post inspired by a real-world conversation. For the Twist :  include an element of foreshadowing in the beginning of your post.

I’m writing this (in advance) on a flight from Brisbane to Melbourne. The first leg of a very long series of flights. Next is Melbourne to Dubai then on to London. All up, it’s 24 hours of scheduled flying time, with about 6 hours of layover time in airports. Yippee! Considering I’m only an hour and a half in, I can’t imagine me being too thrilled later….

By the time I post this though, I will be in gorgeous Cambridge, working, but with lovely people and I am most assuredly having a good time, long hideous flight (mostly) forgotten 😝

x desleyjane

 

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Posted by:desleyjane

photographer, blogger, planner, scientist, dog lover, frequent flyer, daughter, sister, BFF, human

31 replies on “Waiting til Goodbye

  1. Love it! You totally got me with the foreshadowing…I didn’t grasp it was a song at all.
    Then comes your insights, which touches upon a situation that many have experienced,and your words are wise, real, and mature.
    Well done, hun.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks Britta, I am. Just came home from a formal dinner at Trinity College in Cambridge. This is where Isaac Newton, Lord Byron, Tennyson and many other wonderful scientists and writers first made their marks. Amazing and surreal experience.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. ahh, just a little bit jealous. Sounds absolutely amazing! I’ve never been to England before, though it’s always been at the top of my list of places to visit!

        Also, I can honestly say that I’ve never listened to the lyrics of I’m Not the Only One that closely, but I do love Sam Smith and I’ll definitely have to pay closer attention the next time I give that song a listen. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

        1. It’s such a beautiful song. I absolutely love it. England is gorgeous and not at all what I had expected. I love it here. And Cambridge!!??? OMG you would love it here. Stunning. And full of amazing history.

          Like

  2. One of my daughter’s favorite artists, Desley! I’m sure she’ll have this song in her iPod – I’ll have to ask her so I can listen. It does bring back memories – from college – a lifetime ago.

    Glad you’re safe and sound in Cambridge. I visited there a decade ago and can still picture the picturesque town, the gorgeous campus, and the fabulous dining hall at Trinity College. Well worth your bum-busting flight 😀

    Liked by 1 person

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