Waiting til Goodbye

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You say I’m crazy, ’cause you don’t think I know what you’ve done, but when I call you baby, I know I’m not the only one.

I’ve been waiting for you. For hours. I don’t know why I do it. You make me feel worthless. Except for those brief hours that we spend together, those glorious hours which pass by so quickly. It’s in those moments that I wish that time could stand still and that we would stay together forever.

But here I am, still waiting. I can’t be this person anymore, this desperation when you’re not with me. This isn’t me. I’m not like this. You bring out this sullen behaviour in me. When you finally do arrive tonight, I will be moody and irritated because I’ve been waiting here. For you. I’m an idiot for sitting here, as if I have no other life than the time that I spend with you and then the time that I spend waiting for you.

Something is wrong here. I am not that person. I am not worthless. You cannot do this to me.

It’s going to be tonight. I’m going to tell you. I want to be the only one. But I can’t be the only one for you, I know that.

So tonight I say goodbye.

 


 

These are the lyrics playing in my headphones as I’m flying across this beautiful country Australia. It’s a full flight but it’s evening and everyone is pretty quiet, watching TV, headphones on, staring ahead or drifting off to sleep.

Credit goes to the wonderful Mr Sam Smith for his beautiful song “I’m Not The Only One”, providing the lyrics at the to of his post. This is my favourite song right now. I’m not in the situation described in the song, but I’ve been there as I’m sure many of us have. I feel ya Sam. I wanted to write something to convey the dark feeling that you inevitably have in this situation. For a time, you feel like it will change or improve and you hope that it does. But you’re helpless because you can’t control how the other person feels or what he does. He makes you feel worthless because he doesn’t ever put you first. But actually, you know what, he’s the one who is worthless. He actually brings nothing to your life. Except heartache and misery. Remember that sick feeling you get in your stomach when you realize what’s going on? We don’t need that. We are so much better than that.

 


 

 

Today’s Writing101 Prompt :  Write a post inspired by a real-world conversation. For the Twist :  include an element of foreshadowing in the beginning of your post.

I’m writing this (in advance) on a flight from Brisbane to Melbourne. The first leg of a very long series of flights. Next is Melbourne to Dubai then on to London. All up, it’s 24 hours of scheduled flying time, with about 6 hours of layover time in airports. Yippee! Considering I’m only an hour and a half in, I can’t imagine me being too thrilled later….

By the time I post this though, I will be in gorgeous Cambridge, working, but with lovely people and I am most assuredly having a good time, long hideous flight (mostly) forgotten 😝

x desleyjane

 

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31 Comments Add yours

  1. Norm 2.0 says:

    Safe travels 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. desleyjane says:

      Thanks Norm. And thanks for the note!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Joanne says:

    Safe travels – may you and your luggage always be at the same destination at the same time! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. desleyjane says:

      Those are the best wishes. Thank you. We arrived together but the luggage is damaged so I will need to replace it.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Joanne says:

        Dang, hope you can still close it? Have fun in Cambridge!

        Liked by 1 person

        1. desleyjane says:

          Thank you, it’s fantastic here.

          Liked by 1 person

  3. Andy Townend says:

    An excellent post – have a safe trip to London!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. desleyjane says:

      Thank you my dear. Safe and sound. Just had a tour and formal dinner at Trinity College.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Andy Townend says:

        So glad you survived that long trip once more in good spirits! Have a great time, so sorry I can’t make it to London this coming weekend 😦

        Liked by 1 person

        1. desleyjane says:

          Me too. We will miss you guys but next time!!!

          Liked by 1 person

  4. Love it! You totally got me with the foreshadowing…I didn’t grasp it was a song at all.
    Then comes your insights, which touches upon a situation that many have experienced,and your words are wise, real, and mature.
    Well done, hun.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. desleyjane says:

      Thank you so much. Again. X

      Like

  5. brittabottle says:

    1) I hope you are having a fantastic time on your travels! Sounds like quite an adventure.
    2) I can definitely relate to this situation. Great post!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. desleyjane says:

      Thanks Britta, I am. Just came home from a formal dinner at Trinity College in Cambridge. This is where Isaac Newton, Lord Byron, Tennyson and many other wonderful scientists and writers first made their marks. Amazing and surreal experience.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. brittabottle says:

        ahh, just a little bit jealous. Sounds absolutely amazing! I’ve never been to England before, though it’s always been at the top of my list of places to visit!

        Also, I can honestly say that I’ve never listened to the lyrics of I’m Not the Only One that closely, but I do love Sam Smith and I’ll definitely have to pay closer attention the next time I give that song a listen. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

        1. desleyjane says:

          It’s such a beautiful song. I absolutely love it. England is gorgeous and not at all what I had expected. I love it here. And Cambridge!!??? OMG you would love it here. Stunning. And full of amazing history.

          Like

          1. brittabottle says:

            I’ve been to Ireland and Northern Ireland before, so I have a sense of what the landscape is like in England…but I still would love to go the England. I’m sure I would, too. 🙂

            Liked by 1 person

    2. desleyjane says:

      And thanks. I thought it was pretty relatable but I can’t tell you how good it felt to write it out like that! Thanks so much for your comments. X

      Like

  6. I’d love some more contrast, but it’s a nice B&W photo Desley.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. desleyjane says:

      LOL I actually turned it down because I thought it was too much!
      Thanks CG 🙂

      Like

    2. desleyjane says:

      Ok I’ve updated the photo just for you. Turns out I’d uploaded the unedited photo from iPhone.

      Like

      1. Thank you Desley. It looks much better now, not so flat.

        Liked by 1 person

  7. One of my daughter’s favorite artists, Desley! I’m sure she’ll have this song in her iPod – I’ll have to ask her so I can listen. It does bring back memories – from college – a lifetime ago.

    Glad you’re safe and sound in Cambridge. I visited there a decade ago and can still picture the picturesque town, the gorgeous campus, and the fabulous dining hall at Trinity College. Well worth your bum-busting flight 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    1. desleyjane says:

      Thank you! Yes it’s wonderful. Another good night out tonight. Enjoy the song!!

      Liked by 1 person

  8. A.B Mood says:

    I love this song so MUCH!! </3 I can too relate to this song and that feeling of misery.. Thank God I'm over that part of my life.
    P.S. Have fun in Cambridge and stay safe ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. desleyjane says:

      Thanks so much. Yes he’s a very relatable guy, right?!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. A.B Mood says:

        Yes he is ^_^ That beautiful man ❤

        Liked by 1 person

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