Run

Hall

Her heart sank. The door wouldn’t open. She twisted the knob wildly, hoping it would just open and let her out of here. She almost crumbled when she suddenly remembered the keys. Maybe one would fit?! She reached down to get them before realizing she had left them in the lock on her chains. She sprinted back, not caring about noise now, she just had to get out. Please God let her get out. She struggled to get the key from the lock and almost cried out in frustration but stopped herself just in time. 

Back at the door, she tried one of the keys. Nothing. But the second key worked and she sighed heavily, releasing the breath she didn’t realise she was holding. Cautiously, she opened the door, pushing it inwards and carefully peered around into the hallway. Caged lights were centered on the ceiling, stretching down a long hallway, some bulbs not working, but there was light enough to see puddles of dirty water on the rough ground. The hallway seemed to curve around a corner at the end and she wasted no time in closing the door quietly behind her and making a start.

She moved cautiously at first but soon began to jog, eager to put as much space as possible between herself and the cage that she’d been in. As she rounded the curve of the corner, she heard a sound in the distance, it sounded like a shout and she stopped dead in her tracks, the blood draining from her face. She heard the door handle twisting back the way she had come and was thankful that she had re-locked it.

She started to run, her bare feet hitting the ground, splashing cold dirty water up her bare legs. By the time she heard voices echo through the hallway behind her, she was running as fast as she could, her breathing heavy, pain in her ribs with every breath and the blood pounding in her head. 

I hope this caused some suspense. I wrote it so quickly, as fast as she was running maybe ๐Ÿ˜‰
x desleyjane

 

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22 Comments Add yours

  1. Brilliant! Great piece of writing. perhaps you could check out my stories, see how they compare. But yeah, amazing!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. desleyjane says:

      Thank you! Yes I’ll definitely pop over and take a look.

      Like

  2. Joanne says:

    Oh yes, it caused some suspense… does she reach the end of that room? does she she get caught? does she find freedom? Suspense… TICK! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. desleyjane says:

      Excellent. Thanks Joanne ๐Ÿ™‚ I think we are coming to the end.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. imanikel says:

    Now you got me breathing really hard from running with her

    Liked by 1 person

    1. desleyjane says:

      Sorry!! But that just what I was going for ๐Ÿ˜‰

      Liked by 1 person

  4. yikes is there more? x

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Now you’re talking, DJ! Let’s get the hell out of this place! Yay! This one was a relief to read! More please, bring her safely home.
    xxx

    Liked by 2 people

    1. desleyjane says:

      Cheers hun. Let’s see what happens… Xx

      Like

  6. Yes the build up is great ๐Ÿ˜€

    Liked by 1 person

    1. desleyjane says:

      Ok great thanks!!!

      Liked by 1 person

  7. AC Elliott says:

    Fantastic! I love the descriptive imagery you use in this and the feeling of needing to get out of there as quickly as possible.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. desleyjane says:

      Thank you! How funny, I was just reading your entry at the same time.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Whew! Suspenseful! Make this a short story and sell it on your blog (add some cool photos)! Awesome and marketable!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. desleyjane says:

      Thanks Terri. I think I’ll put it al together soon to see how it fits and then figure out what to do next ๐Ÿ˜‰

      Liked by 1 person

  9. andy townend says:

    Can I breathe now, and when am I troubled by the fear that she is running into a world of trouble when she rounds the bend ahead! Keep this one going Desley!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. pommepal says:

    Go girl……. We’re all with you…

    Liked by 1 person

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