If this should end in fire, then we should all burn together.

Ed Sheeran, I See Fire 

Just a note – these stories may be a little too dark for some people, so if my last one was too much, it might be best to skip these.

He stared into the fire. The embers glowing in the darkness. He was gripped with despair. It was done. She was gone. He reached for his glass, never far from him, and took a deep swallow, draining the burning liquid, taking no pleasure from it.

He looked across the room, her lifeless form slumped against the wall where he’d let her fall hours ago. A tear escaped, leaking from his eye socket and he angrily brushed it away, leaping to his feet and striding towards the body, all in one violent surging movement.

The body. What the fuck was he going to do with the body? His mind raced, images flashing – her lithe body raised up above him, that swollen red mouth open, head falling back as she moved against him, then his hands moving up over her body, his thumbs pressing into her skin as his own back arched. In an instant, the scene changed and he saw those same eyes bulge and then glaze over as he raised himself above her and his fingers and thumbs squeezed hard into her neck. He remembered his own breathing becoming jagged and harsh as he choked her. She had looked completely shocked, had not seen this coming. He silently applauded himself for pulling this off. At the same time, he was sickened by what he’d done. He’d grown to love her. What the fuck was wrong with him?

Wrenching himself back to now, he looked down at her body and he squatted, intending to lift her, but found himself reaching out to stroke her hair, pulling on a stray strand. She had loved it when he did that, her breath always catching as he pulled a little too hard. But now she had no breath. A sound escaped his throat as the memory hit him.

He had to bury her. It had to be now.

My third piece to accompany Julie’s Dapper Rabbit series. I like how this is going, I really enjoy getting into his head – such a conflicted guy, totally dark and a little mad, but with something else. It’s funny how you can grow to like a character, even when he’s a very bad guy.

x desleyjane

PS a little about the photo. This is my peony in decay, posted about in detail earlier the year. It seems only fitting to use a “Beauty in Decay” shot to capture his descent, his remorse, his anger, his sorrow. I love this shot, I love the soft but deliberate editing. There’s a coldness to the shot which I think works with this piece as well. I hope you like it.

Posted by:desleyjane

photographer, blogger, planner, scientist, dog lover, frequent flyer, daughter, sister, BFF, human

7 replies on “Three: Conflicted.

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